I Like Junk

One mans (or woman's) junk is another's garden feature. Some things have a place in the garden and some just don't. I mean specifically here items that come under the headings of "hard landscaping" or "features". Rather than getting into discussing whether or not the likes of variegated ground elder or weeping willows should be allowed to cross the threshold of the average garden.

I think that my own approach to gardening is rooted in childhood. I see the garden as a place to be and play. Not so much of an outdoor room as an outdoor house without a roof. There are public and semi-public areas like the living room, dining room, kitchen, more private parts such as the bedroom and study, and I even pee on the compost heap when no-ones looking. As such I think I have fairly catholic tastes as to what is permissible and what isn't.

My favourite feature at the moment consists of three lengths of spiral copper tubing with fine fins all down it that I salvaged from a hot water boiler heat exchanger some time ago. It's latest job is to provide support in a container that is planted with sweet peas.

Unacceptable Junk

There are some things though that shouldn't even be allowed in the open air, let alone in the garden in a decorative capacity.

A brand new entry straight in at number 1. I only saw an advert for this a little while ago, but it has to be first on this list.

uPVC Decking Boards. I kid ye not. Decking boards made from the same white plastic used for window frames and doors.

Is it disguised?	No
Does it look like wood?	No
Does it look like white plastic?	Yes
Does a whole deck look like a large expanse of white plastic?	Yes

I predict a rapid demise.

Mirrors. Mirrors in the garden always strike me as being something that was put out for the bin men but not taken away yet because it's not Monday.

Brand new industrial girders. Whatever color they're painted. They just look like an unfinished building in progress where the ugly parts haven't been hidden yet.

Anything made from old car tyres. Especially if turned inside out, painted white and planted with bedding. The exception of course is if it used for a childrens play area.

Glass blocks built into walls. What is the point? Ugly when new and destined to look tatty and sad when old and dirty.